How it feels,
I gouge out both of your eyes, 
Then place two precious gems instead,
Will you see?

How it feels,
I uproot your flag,
Trees and homes,
Then plant castles of solitude and silos,
Tell me, Will you breathe?

How it feels,
I ban your oranges, figs and olives,
And force you to leave your garden,
Will you obey?

In this work I research a historical event from 1987 Palestine (first Intifada) when local farmers used sliced watermelon in their demonstration against the occupation during the forbidden order of raising the Palestinian flag and the constant fight of the watermelon economy. This is what brought the symbolism of watermelon since the first intifada into worldwide attention and made it an international sign of solidarity with Palestine.

The durational performance installation draws its inspiration from the Palestinian history of displacement in all of its persistent chapters whether it was the escalation of Jerusalem’s Sheikh Jarrah crisis, the Syrian revolution and its aftermath, or the massacres during the Lebanese civil war.  The struggle between the inner queer living in apartheid and the exiled one encompasses a profound internal conflict between identity, freedom, and belonging. It is a struggle to reconcile one’s true self with the oppressive external circumstances imposed by apartheid. The inner queer individual have to navigate a delicate balance between self-preservation, survival, and finding ways to resist or challenge the oppressive system. While displaced individuals confront the difficulties of being uprooted from their familiar surroundings, separated from their communities, and having to rebuild their lives in foreign and often unwelcoming environments. They often experienced isolation, loss of social support, and the constant threat of being marginalized or discriminated against in their new surroundings. Moreover The performance relies heavily on creating a visual scenery depicting the Palestinians within the siege and the diaspora of Palestinians all over the world from a non-heteronormative lens.

You Will Never Know How It Feels depicts two non-heteronormative characters interacting on a limited podium that is a small pond of earth-like spot; a long haired none-traditionally looking performer (female presenting) eating sweet watermelon, and a traditionally looking performer (male presenting) eating salted watermelon seeds, each facing a different direction, spitting out the leftovers on the floor. In between, the two share one sentence in various interpretations/tones that is ‘You Will Never Know How It Feels’

The work tries to be a live testimony on the current situation of besieged Palestinians inside the occupied territories as well as drawing on the generational displacement the stateless Palestinians of the diaspora suffer from. The performance aspires to use the simple indication of the watermelon as a powerful symbolic intro and a tool to spark curiosity and awareness around not only the Palestinian cause but about many other besieged and marginalised communities sweltering under patriarchal cis-tems apartheid and dictatorships. It is a modern adaptation on the silencing of freedoms of speech, it’s an artistic protest, a sit-in against the power structures and the current international political atmosphere, reflecting on inner queer identities living under apartheid and outer struggles of the displaced individuals living in exile.

Medium: Durational performance installation. 3 Hours

With: Zain Saleh

Year: 2022

The work was performed at OpenOut Festival 2022. Trømso, Norway